Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
