Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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