just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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