That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's just like the Real World with babies
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
