I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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