that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
