Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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