I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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