omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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