fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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