Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
someone owes me an orgasm
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
