Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The adults are the big ones right?
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