i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize