That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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