when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
