youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
