"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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