No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
