i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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