THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
