I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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