she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had to cum in my sink.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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