im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
either way he was missing a nipple.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
