i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
