I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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