weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
