and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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