Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
