You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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