You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize