im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
