When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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