I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
