I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
