They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
