update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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