that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
