Dignity is for republicans.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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