God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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