Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
