..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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