You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
