i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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