I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just pee around me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
