Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
