Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
