It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
