im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
