when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
