We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
