i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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