Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize