i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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