I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
