Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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