wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
