you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
