Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
