I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
