i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
