my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's always time for handjobs
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize