Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize