He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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